Dirty Words at Work
Chapter 1: Gossip
noun: gossip
casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true.
“Did you hear what happened to Sally?” Joanne asked her colleague, Samantha.
“No, what happened?” Samantha replied.
“I hear she was diagnosed with cancer and she’s starting chemo tomorrow.”
“No! Really? Is she ok?”
Admit it, we’ve all been guilty of doing something like this at one point in our lives.
How do you think Sally would feel if she knew that Joanne was talking about her medical condition? Even if Joanne had good intentions, gossip can lead to harm, and it might even violate the law.
It doesn’t matter whether Sally actually had cancer. Maybe Joanne was telling the truth, but maybe there was something she missed, or there was more to it. Maybe Sally told Joanne in confidence and she didn’t want anyone else to know. In any case, Joanne shouldn’t tell anyone else about Sally’s condition, unless she specifically asked her to do so.
Did you play the game of telephone as a kid? If you did, then you probably recall how much information is lost the further the “rumor” spreads. As a child, I found it hilarious.
The office is the adult version of the game of telephone, but this game is no fun. It can cause real harm.
NPR research determined in 2018 that 97% of people believe that gossiping is the most toxic employee behavior, yet 39% of employees have seen it and 6% say they participated in it.
Many people let this one go. We don’t think much about it. We might laugh if the news is amusing. Even if the news seems harmless, chances are it’s not.
Why?
Gossip damages reputations.
It hurts the people the news is about. Gossip can cause stress, anxiety and embarrassment.
It hurts the gossiper. How likely are you to trust someone that constantly tells wild stories about people?
It hurts the people receiving the news. How did you react when you received someone’s bad news? Did you believe it and reach out to the gossipee? Even worse, did you share the news with someone else? Did you treat someone differently because of the news?
It consumes trust.
It’s difficult to build trust in teams that gossip. People might avoid working with a gossiper, or they might have some pent-up resentment built up because of past gossiping.
Maybe there’s only one gossip, or maybe there’s several gossips, but it’s harmful regardless.
Workplace gossip distracts.
Gossip detracts from the work at hand- the entire reason why you’re working together to begin with. This can impact productivity and cause greater problems down the road.
It destroys teams.
Do you like working with someone that gossips? Are you afraid of what you tell that person because you wonder if it might be told to someone else?
What can be done to stop workplace gossip?
Gossiping is an expensive tax and the deeper down the rabbit hole it goes, the harder it is to recover from it.
For starters, don’t add to the problem. Avoid gossip and don’t spread it if you hear it. Even better, call someone out for gossiping. Point out the issues that gossip can cause and be vocal about the cost.
If you’re a leader in your organization, it is even more important for you to make a stand against it. Listen to your team, talk to the people that are causing problems and work together to make it better.
If you’re lucky, then you can get through it by talking it through, but if it continues it can spread cancer deeper into the organization. Don’t let it grow and fester before you take action!
Even if you aren’t in a position of authority, you can still be the first voice in the force that makes change happen.
Be strong and don’t be afraid to speak up- your voice matters too!
Recommended articles:
Dirty Words at Work Introduction
7 Top Tips to Achieve Your Dreams