My Chronic Dreams: Surviving College and Crohn’s Disease

Operation Graduation: Surviving College and Crohn’s Disease

My college journey was complicated, although I suppose few could say otherwise. Before I received my Bachelor’s, I changed my major three times, took classes at four different schools and moved across the country. I did all of this while balancing Crohn’s disease flares, doctor’s appointments and treatments. It wasn’t easy, but I was determined to get through it.

Five key takeaways that I hope you take from my story:

Choose to be brave and daring, and don’t be afraid to take a leap of faith
You always have the power to change your life
Your health should always be your number one priority
Mistakes are hardly ever fatal so keep on making bigger and better mistakes
Having difficulty with something doesn’t make you a failure

The End of High School

I graduated from high school in upstate New York and started my college journey at RIT, a university not far from home. It wasn’t so much a choice in the school as it was a selection of convenience. It was one of my first adult lessons: a choice of convenience is not necessarily a good decision; in fact, it often is not. In reality, it was only the easy decision at the time.

Now don’t get me wrong, RIT is a good school with a great reputation. It just wasn’t the right place for me.

The First Year of College

I suffered what I would consider a bit of an identity crisis during my first year of college and realized that I was absolutely miserable. I suffered from worsening symptoms of Crohn’s disease that left me in pain, and it wasn’t until that winter that I was finally diagnosed.

My diagnosis was freeing, but it was also terrifying. I was happy to have an answer for all of the years of mysterious pain. Even better, I knew that I would be able to move forward and get better now that I finally knew what was wrong. Despite the relief, it was terrifying knowing that it was something I would live with for my entire life.

On top of dealing with my chronic illness, I wasn’t satisfied with my school, my major or my classes, nor did I love the fact that a number of my high school colleagues went to the same university. Believe me; I was happy to be done with high school.

I was only beginning to understand the implications of student debt and I was tired of living in New York where the weather was crummy a majority of the year. It was clear to me that something needed to change, and I knew that I was the only one that could do something about it.

A Choice for Change

I decided to transfer to another school after the fall quarter of my second year. I told myself that this time I would leave New York and go somewhere that made me happy. At the time, I had decided to major in Bioinformatics and only a limited number of schools offered that major to its students. I searched all around the country and ended up settling on Pacific University, a smaller university in Oregon.

It was the better decision for me. I did my research and was reasonably happy with my selection of classes and the favorable review of the professors. On top of that, I had family only an hour away from school and planned to visit often.

I left RIT after the fall quarter of my second year and took classes at a community college the following semester. I figured I would need the liberal arts credits and that it would be a much cheaper alternative to taking classes at a school I was ready to be done with.

Around this time, my doctor put me on Remicade infusions to handle my worsening flares. It took some time, but I eventually went into remission. I was healthier and my Crohn’s was finally under control. Things were looking much better and I was optimistic about my future.

The Third Year and a New Beginning

That summer, I eagerly planned for my upcoming journey. I quit my job at The Cheesecake Factory, shipped my things to Oregon and packed everything else I would be carrying with me. Saying goodbye to my parents, sisters, friends and pets was hard, but I knew I was making the right decision. I was excited about my next adventure and the new opportunities.

The week before classes started, my mom helped me move into an on-campus apartment complex for transfer students. During orientation, I explored various activities and clubs and signed up for my classes. I also found a doctor and a facility nearby where I could get my Remicade treatments. Things fell into place rather well.

Life at Pacific was much better. I picked up work part-time at the library and joined a sorority with a great group of girls. Classes were difficult, but I was happier. The activities and new experiences were meaningful and left me with lasting memories, and I made some great friends. I visited my grandparents on the weekends when I was free and reestablished meaningful relationships with family that had once seemed distant.

Just like anyone going through college, I had my struggles, but I was overall much happier and healthier. I knew I had made the right decision and that was enough.

Senior Year and The Rocky Road

Sometime during my senior year of college, my symptoms reappeared with a vengeance. I became sicker, more tired and grew frustrated as I struggled to keep up with classes and maintain my health.

Senior year was a tumultuous year. I dropped my dual-degree in Physics and Biology to simply a degree in Biology, deciding that taking a fifth year to complete a second degree would be too expensive to justify. In doing so, I realized that I would have to take 17 upper-credit classes in my last semester to get all of the credits I needed to graduate the following May.

I became an officer with my sorority, finding more stress in the form of drama and greater responsibilities. I wondered what would happen after graduation, debating graduate school and a break from school to work full-time. No doubt, the increased stress led to my worsening symptoms.

After dealing with worsening symptoms for months, my doctor ran more tests and put me on Azathioprine along with Remicade. My symptoms slowly came under control, shifting my focus back onto my classes once my health became more manageable.

I dealt with the drama, my classes, and the stress and somehow survived the difficult journey leading to graduation. It was a rocky road, but I never gave up and knew that I would find a way to get through it. The last week of classes was my race to the finish. I had numerous assignments and exams and managed little to no sleep in that final week, but it was temporary I knew.

When I took my last exam and handed in my last assignment, it was time to celebrate. My friends and I celebrated our accomplishments with parties and nights out. Never had I before faced such a challenge in my life, but it was worth it.

Graduation day was one of my most memorable experiences. After all of the struggle and hard work, I finally had my Bachelor’s degree in hand. To this day it still stands out as one of my greatest accomplishments. Eventually I caught up on my sleep, my health continued improving, and I looked optimistically into the future.

Lessons Learned

College is a difficult venture for most students, but juggling classes with a chronic illness made it that much more so. I also had a terrible tendency to take on more than I could handle at a time (something I still struggle with to this day). I paid a steep price for my stress, but thanks to a good doctor, treatment, and a supportive family, I was able to get back on the right track. Without my supportive family and friends, it would have been a much more difficult journey. I believe that with the right support and sufficient grit, anything is possible.

Throughout my journey, I learned to make more calculated decisions and braved an unknown opportunity that led to much greater happiness and satisfaction. I also learned that mistakes are rarely permanent and they are never nearly as bad as they seem at first.

A reminder of the five takeaways above:

Be brave and daring- don’t be afraid to take a leap of faith for a great experience or intriguing opportunity.
There is no such thing as being stuck in any situation. You always have the power to change something. No excuses.
Your health should always be your number one priority. I’ve learned some tough lessons that taught me when my health is suffering, nothing else matters, including good grades, work and social time.
Everyone makes mistakes and they are hardly ever fatal. It’s part of life! Fail and do better with the lessons you learned the next time.
Having difficulty with something doesn’t make you a failure. I often thought my struggles made me a lesser person, but in fact, it was quite the opposite. They made me stronger, because if I truly wanted something I had to work for it that much harder. It’s also a good reminder, “if I can get through that then I can get through anything.”

This post is part 1 of a 4 part series. My story continues in the next post, “How I Started My Chronic Career: The Post-Grad Journey.”

For part 3 visit, “The Fight for My Chronic Dreams.”

Part 4, “The Realization of My Chronic Dreams.”