The Truth About Becoming a New Mom Plus 10 Tips for New Parents

The Truth about Becoming a New Mom Plus 10 Tips for New Parents

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In the days, weeks and months leading up to the birth of our son, I experienced a range of emotions- everything from excitement to terror. Of course, I was looking forward to meeting our baby boy, but I didn’t know how our lives would change. Deciding to become a new mom isn’t something where you just change your mind.

Too many people talk about how wonderful it is to be a parent, and it’s true, there are a lot of wonderful things about parenting. Some people prefer to tell new parents all their horror stories. Not enough people talk about the reality, which is somewhere in between wonderful and horrifying. Right, how terribly specific of me.

Let me explain.

I was about as prepared as any new mom could be. I read “What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” “What to Expect in the First Year” and “The Happiest Baby on the Block.” I followed various mom blogs, talked to family members and friends, made various lists of things to do before baby arrived (pack the hospital bag, prepare the nursery, buy this and that for baby, etc. etc.). And guess what? I was still unprepared.

Sure, I knew the basics- feeding, changing diapers, naps and so on from prior babysitting experience. Any mom can tell you that babysitting is only a small piece of reality.

I wasn’t ready for the hospital experience.

Or the first days at home.

I wasn’t ready for the night-time wake ups.

Or the first experiences out in public.

I wasn’t ready for the flood of emotions that would hit me all at once.

Truthfully, I wasn’t ready to be a full-time mom.

Then again, I don’t think anyone is ever ready.

My husband and I even took a Lamaze birthing class. Although taking the class gave me more confidence and a toolbox of pain-relief techniques, there really is no “be fully prepared to push a tiny person out of your body” class.

Nothing prepares you for the reality of becoming a full-time parent. Babysitting is probably the best preparation, but even that only gives you snippets of reality.

I don’t regret any of the things we did to “prepare” for our son. If nothing else, they gave me greater confidence in my ability to be a parent. Everyone should prepare to the best of their ability, but don’t be disappointed when your preparation falls short. It will.

My son is nearly 3 months old. I’ve learned a lot in that time and I know there is more to learn still. I was skeptical when someone told me being a parent is the most satisfying thing you could ever do. Maybe it isn’t true for everyone, but nothing else means more to me.

10 tips for new parents

Don’t be so hard on yourself. You will make mistakes, and even if you think you are 100% ready, something will surprise you. You will have good days and some truly awful days where you will probably hate yourself, your partner and/or your new baby. It’s normal. Don’t try to convince yourself otherwise.
Ask for and accept help. I don’t know what I would have done without the help we received from our family. The earliest days at home are the hardest- take help where you can get it!
Sleep at any opportunity. Seriously. In the first few weeks I slept anytime my son did. It was the only way I maintained my sanity.
Don’t expect to recover quickly from delivery- it will take longer than you expect. Stock up on the super pads they have at the hospital and ask one of the nurses to show you and/or your partner how to make an ice diaper. Trust me when I say your body will thank you later.
Don’t forget to take care of yourself. Everyone wants to be supermom or superdad. If you’re reading this list, then chances are you already are, or soon will be. Being a parent is a tough job. It’s ok to take a break and do something you enjoy. Get out of the house! I promise you will be a better parent if you take care of you.
Accept the fact that there is no “typical” experience. Everyone will have advice to give, but the best advice is to do what is best for your little one and your family, regardless of what anyone has to say.
Routines are a parent’s best friend. I used to think they were unnecessary, but babies love them! Having a night-time routine makes it much easier to get our son to sleep.
Forget the to-do list. The baby will take a crap on your list. Eventually the important things will get done. Don’t forget point #1 when you realize your list is dead. This point was the hardest for me to overcome.
Eventually you will become accustomed to your new “normal.” It takes at least twice as long to leave the house and when you do finally get out the door, you will probably forget something. As long as the house doesn’t burn down, and the pets don’t die, it’s ok!
You will never be the same after this experience, but it’s alright because nothing makes you happier. You will leave the house with spit-up in your hair at least once. Your makeup (none), hair (messy) and clothing choices (sweats anyone?) might make you look like a homeless person, but at least your baby looks cute in his overalls! Everyone will stare at you when your baby starts crying in public and you will receive at least one unwelcome comment from a well-wishing stranger. At the end of the day, none of it matters because you wouldn’t change a thing.